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Lima Beans Would be Illegal

“Selecting the 100 or so cutest and most poignant comments from school children responding to a nationwide survey, Bender (Swine Divine, 1999, etc) takes a foray into “Kids Say the Darndest Things” territory. Bordered by comic, fuzzy-edged illustrations of people, food, animals, and “stuff”, the wishes and dreams of 6- to 13-year olds range from the sublime (“I wish that Pooh was real and he would come and play with me and show me where all the honey is”) to the silly (“In a perfect world school bullies would wear dresses”), with many references to parents, siblings, loss, illness, heaven, school lunches, and just deserts. Whether this brings chuckles, tears, or heartburn, it may inspire readers to articulate their own visions of worldly perfection.”
Kirkus reviews

“…A distinctive collection of quotes that inspire laughter and tears, complemented by Bender’s wonderful illustrations.”
Beyond the Cover


If your mom didn’t always embarrass you in front of your friends, telling them the day you fell in the toilet when you were seven.
Brianne Fester, age 11
I would like peas and quiet.
Quinton Quick, age 8

In a perfect world there is peace and harmony. Everybody would be nice, even robbers. They would say, “Please hand me that money.”
Nicholas Williams, age 8

It would be a perfect world if you had a remote control that had the buttons “off,” “pause,” “mute,” and “on,” and it worked on people. For example, if your mom told you to clean your room, you could press a button and mute her.
Chad McGrath, age 10
In a perfect world Eliza would love me, and this came true this year because she kissed me on the cheek.
Nicholas Opaliski, age 7

Heaven on earth would be if animals were potty trained.
Joshua Becker, age 7

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